Yes, let's talk about sex! Me, being a tad melodramatic, will start by telling you all a little story.
The first time I was made to sit down and listen to The Talk was a few weeks after I began grade 6. I was eleven years old at the time. My classmates and I were taken to the school hall where our Assistant Principal was waiting for us, a book on her lap and her face bearing a very serious expression. We were immediately wondering what we had done to displease her.
So we tentatively seated facing her while she patiently waited till we settled down. Then she opened the book and held it up. We squinted to see what it was. It was an illustrated diagram of the male genitals. Several people sniggered, but the noise was instantly quailed when she glared at us.
"Do you know what this is?" She asked us. Of course we do, I thought. It's the male genitals. You can close the book now. She didn't, and continued with this rather unusual session.
"These are called the private parts. I'm going to tell you a few things you need to know about your private parts..." and she told us how important it was to not let our "private parts" be seen by anyone else, unless during unavoidable circumstances like sustaining an illness (I thought getting hit by the ball while out playing football and sustaining testicular torsion would have been a better example; the mind conjures horrible images sometimes).
But anyway, during the days that followed there were plenty of private part jokes floating around. Most of us didn't really take the session too seriously. We were made to sit through plenty of similar sessions and I noticed that the attitude of my classmates were pretty much the same.
This type of attitude is not limited to just immature adolescents. You make someone talk about sex on television and you'll hear people all over the country either freaking out or cracking dirty jokes. I suppose this is understandable to an extent, since quite a lot of negative Western aspects have seeped into our once disciplined culture. But if you take one brief look into our past, you'll discover that we have a rather cringeworthy history whenever sex is involved.
Remember the story of how we converted to Islam? About the Rannamaari? Weren't you surprised (and somewhat amused) to discover that the frightful monster that for some reason always feasted on young, virgin girls was merely the king carrying out his part time duty as a rapist? How about the way our earliest type of poetry, the Raivaru, lost its credibility when it was used as a tool to hurl out X-rated lyrics towards our pious women? Or how the discipline of our nation was on the verge of a serious meltdown when Mohamed Amin Didi came to power? Yes, homosexuality was common practice back then, bet your Dhivehi teacher never told you that, eh? Our first president managed to stamp it out of course, let's give credit to him for that. But what was his reward for all the positive changes he brought to this country? Getting beaten up, tortured and banished until he passed away. He forgave all Maldivian citizens except for the two blokes who injured his genitals. And recently we discovered this guy. One would fear that this is not an isolated case. Not only do we have such perverted sickos lumbering all over the country, but cases of premarital / extramarital sex and sexual assaults are on the rise. We've undone all the good work Amin Didi did for us.
Now, the solution. Predictably, I'm going to say it is our religion, Islam (I'll just ignore the groans coming from the Kemal Ataturk Brigade). In Islam, sex is not considered to be dirty or a source of shame. Rather, it is one of the natural inclinations given to us by Allah that need to be fulfilled every now and then, similar to the same sort of unavoidable desires such as eating, drinking, sleep etc. However, like everything else sexual desire can only be fulfilled by following a certain set of rules which can be clearly learnt from the Quran and our beloved Prophet's (peace be upon him) Hadith.
Don't get me wrong now, it's not that I'm against the awareness sessions being conducted in schools and youth centres. I just think the information are not being provided in the correct manner. Having attended plenty of such sessions, I can say that I've always felt there was an important element missing from them; the religious perspective. Brilliant though our psychologists and behavourial experts are, they simply don't have sufficient knowledge when it comes to religious matters. For an example, they can tell us about all the different types of contraceptive methods and when the session ends, some of us would be under the impression that as long as we use contraception, everything will be alright. For an instance, I was questioned in a survey conducted by WHO recently and the interviewer asked me all sorts of awkward questions (my cousin, who was with me at the time, was kicked out of the room to give me privacy). He began listing all sorts of contraceptive methods, most of which sounded rather repulsive, and he finally quzzed me about the diaphragm.
"Diaphragm?" I asked incredulously. "How on earth does that work?" I was thinking about the diaphragm pumps used in chemistry labs while transferring solutions into pipettes.
The interviewer did not appear to share my amusement.
"So which methods will you use?" He asked.
"Let's see, er...which methods..that's a tough one. I don't like many of the methods you've mentioned."
"Just name one or two then."
"I'll definitely not use a diaphragm."
These people never mention things like the importance of abstinence before marriage, the dangers of homosexuality and incest etc.
As a result today, we have an underground gay community and ignorant dunderheads who're always quick to say, "Oh, I don't have a problem with a person's sexuality." Oh yeah? Look what happened to the people of Sodom and Gomorrah. And before you think of pelting me with hollow insults, take a look at the statistics provided by the Centre for Disease Control and Prevention, an agency that is always on the frontline when it comes to infectious and dangerous diseases in the United States:
http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/surveillance/basic.htm#exposure
Compare the number of cases of AIDS transferred by male-to-male sexual contact to that of high-risk (note the word high-risk) heterosexual contact. Interesting, isn't it? Of course, such statistics are rarely spoken aloud. It's called political correctness, see, which roughly means manipulating the truth in such a way that people are made to hear things the way they want to hear them.
It always amuses me how the many so-called developed countries of the world actually consider pornography and incest to be perfectly acceptable. Look at this:
"In Israel, incest between adults (of the age of 18 years and above) is not a crime"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laws_regarding_incest
Ha! Ridiculous! Not only are such atrocities legal in some countries, but pornography is a billion dollar industry, and cases of pornography-related sexual assaults are not rare. In fact, plenty of serial killers have admitted that the motivation of their crimes were as a result of watching violent pornography.
We all know that incest, pornography, sodomy and fornication are crimes in Islam. So how can we curb all the immorality that are rapidly spreading throughout our society? Well for one thing, we shouldn't just shun them into a dark corner and pretend they don't exist, which was a habit of a certain former President of ours. You might remember him; huge ego, has an irrational fear of fireworks...yes him. No, we should tackle the problems head-on using the powerful tool we call Islam.
Oh, and I've managed to find a couple of excellent articles:
Islamic perspective on homosexuality
Homosexuality in the light of Islam
Monday, March 2, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Maldivians turning into Rednecks
Don't we all feel annoyed by the stereotypes attached to us? Say you, the Maldivian, were in a foreign country, England for an example, and it's the middle of winter (a time of the year when people over there are unusually edgy). You walk into a small shop owned by a middle aged white man. He gives you one long, searching look of deepest loathing and utter,
"I don't bargain here."
"What? I had never thought of bargaining."
"Oh really? And am I supposed to believe that?"
"Well, I can't see any reason why you shouldn't."
"Oh I can tell you plenty of reasons. You see, don't think that, just because you worship three million false gods you can do whatever you like with us Englishmen."
"Ah! You think I'm from India then?"
"You ain't?"
"No, I'm from the Maldives."
As usual with most foreigners who discover that you're Maldivian, the shopkeeper will then undergo a drastic and frankly alarming change in his mood. He'll become so warm that you're sure the snow outside will melt at any moment.
"I am so sorry. You must be terrified! Please do forgive me, but those brown tossers are nothing but trouble, I'm sure you understand. But ah, Maldives! It's a beautiful country! You're so lucky to actually belong there!"
"Er...thank you?"
"Yes, yes, but anyway, what was it that you wanted to purchase? That watch? No, c'mere, I can show you even better ones. Here, a Rolex. No, no need to bother. I can make it cheap, you know. 20% discount, what do you say?"
"No sir, it's alright. I'm not really fussed...er I'll be happy with a cheap one. You know, I just need something to make myself keep track of the time."
"Oh, so modest. But tell me; how many times have you been hit on the head by a coconut?"
"A co- what? A coconut? Never."
"Never? But there probably ain't a scrap of land that ain't occupied by coconut trees!"
"Coconut palms, sir. But I assure you, I've never fallen victim to a coconut. And I've lived there most of my life."
"Ah yes. You must be one of the few lucky ones then, boy! I shudder to imagine the number of coconut-related injuries your people sustain every year."
"Well, to be honest such injuries are pretty rare."
"Rare! Hohoho! I don't know who you're kidding boy. Are you pulling my leg?"
"No, no, I'm being serious. Coconuts aren't nearly as dangerous as you appear to think!"
"Hahahaha! Oh, you've made my day, boy! You Maldivians have a good sense of humour too! I'll tell me wife of that. Incidentally, do you know anyone who could help me wife and I to go over there for cheap? It's our 25th anniversary this summer and what better way than to spend it in the tropical sun, eh boy?"
Yes, stereotypes and generalisation; two extremely annoying traits you're likely to encounter in foreign lands. Although some of them can be pretty amusing like the example mentioned above, others can be downright nasty. The nasty stuff can be attributed to racism or xenophobia. Or even fascism, but they all promote the same thing; hatred.
Which reminds me of Paulo Di Canio, the former Italian footballer who infamously made the Nazi salute after scoring a goal. When accused of being a racist, he replied, "I'm not a racist. I'm a fascist." What an idiot...
An even bigger douchebag than you previously thought
And it's a growing trend here in Maldives. Some of us appear to have the illusion that we Maldivians are superior in front of our fellow South Asians, and I'm sure that the rest of us are thoroughly mystified. If the historical facts we've come up with by collecting various evidence are accurate, then we're descendants of a mixture of tribes; Dravidians, Arabs, Black Africans and North Indian Aryans. But does any of this matter? Well, no, unless you're a completely ignorant fool.
And unfortunately, some of us appear to have happily embraced the Completely Ignorant Fool tag. I've seen plenty of blogs owned by Maldivians which shamelessly conjures articles week after week containing shocking derogatory language against "Bangalhis". Recently, several groups have popped up on Facebook calling for the expulsion of "Bangalhis" from Maldives, and their grotesque members have even uploaded photos of immigrant workers being subjected to all sorts of discriminatory acts, which the members of the groups appear to find amusing. Of course, if you confront any of these bigots then they'll always give you the same, Redneck answer:
"I don't like 'em immigrants. They come 'ere 'n steal our jobs."
Fine, then. Why don't you cycle to the garbage dump every evening with bulging bags of rubbish that makes you smell for weeks on end, or get involved in the construction of buildings from eight in the morning till sunset and risk getting baked in the sun, or perhaps maintain the sewers which, once again, will make you smell bad for weeks on end. What? No? It's not your job? Well then, what's with the double standards?
As we're all aware of, the racist attacks on foreigners, particularly Bangladeshi immigrant workers have been getting increasingly gruesome. I won't even bother to discuss them. And the abuse is not just limited to bodily harm, but you get the feeling that the verbal abuse is even worse.
What we Maldivians don't like to admit is the fact that we're getting increasingly unpopular amongst the South Asian countries. A friend of my mother's once told us how her family were residing in an area in Sri Lanka far away from where Maldivians usually stay.
"They call us drug dealers," she said. And you wonder why, looking at the way young Maldivians who go over there to "pursue their education" behave themselves.
All this hatred that has crept into our society wouldn't exist if people really acted like true believers. I recently read an interview of a man, who used to be a hardcore member of the KKK (that is a racist organization in the USA) who converted to Islam. In it, he said something that was really interesting:
"The other element [of my change] was [that] when you hate somebody so passionately and you just live and just consume the hatred everyday, it starts to deteriorate. It's like a cancer because it destroys your personality, it distorts your soul, and it destroys [those] close to you because it wears off on other people. I was inflicting more harm on myself than the people I hated. I was basically destroying my family and anyone else who had contact with me."
You can read the full interview here:
http://www.beautifulislam.com/converts/kkk_to_islam.htm
In a country where the majority of its citizens claim to followers of Islam, it is embarrassing to witness such acts of cowardice. If only these cowards bothered to learn more about the way of life, I'm absolutely certain that ones race will not even be considered an issue. That is because racism has no place in Islam.
Which brings us to some wise words said by the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).
A man once visited the Prophets mosque in Madina. There he saw a group of people sitting and discussing their faith together. Among them were Salman (who came from Persia), Suhayb who grew up in the Eastern Roman empire and was regarded as a Greek, and Bilal who was an African. The man then said:
"If the (Madinan) tribes of Aws and Khazraj support Muhammad, (it is understood because they are Arabs like him) they are his people. But what are these (foreign) people doing here?" (Implying an obvious dislike for foreigners) The Prophet became very angry when this was reported to him. He went to the mosque and summoned people to prayer. He then addressed them saying:
"O people, know that the Lord and Sustainer is One. Your ancestor is one; your faith is one. The Arabism of anyone of you is not (by virtue of the nobility of) your mother or father. It is no more than a tongue (language) The Prophet further said: Let people stop boasting about their ancestors. One is only a pious believer or a miserable sinner. All men are sons of Adam, and Adam came from dust." [(Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi)]
"Humanity is the family of Allah, the best human is one who is kind to His (Allahs) family. (Mishkat) Extending a helping hand to a foreigner is extending your hand to your own family member."
"I don't bargain here."
"What? I had never thought of bargaining."
"Oh really? And am I supposed to believe that?"
"Well, I can't see any reason why you shouldn't."
"Oh I can tell you plenty of reasons. You see, don't think that, just because you worship three million false gods you can do whatever you like with us Englishmen."
"Ah! You think I'm from India then?"
"You ain't?"
"No, I'm from the Maldives."
As usual with most foreigners who discover that you're Maldivian, the shopkeeper will then undergo a drastic and frankly alarming change in his mood. He'll become so warm that you're sure the snow outside will melt at any moment.
"I am so sorry. You must be terrified! Please do forgive me, but those brown tossers are nothing but trouble, I'm sure you understand. But ah, Maldives! It's a beautiful country! You're so lucky to actually belong there!"
"Er...thank you?"
"Yes, yes, but anyway, what was it that you wanted to purchase? That watch? No, c'mere, I can show you even better ones. Here, a Rolex. No, no need to bother. I can make it cheap, you know. 20% discount, what do you say?"
"No sir, it's alright. I'm not really fussed...er I'll be happy with a cheap one. You know, I just need something to make myself keep track of the time."
"Oh, so modest. But tell me; how many times have you been hit on the head by a coconut?"
"A co- what? A coconut? Never."
"Never? But there probably ain't a scrap of land that ain't occupied by coconut trees!"
"Coconut palms, sir. But I assure you, I've never fallen victim to a coconut. And I've lived there most of my life."
"Ah yes. You must be one of the few lucky ones then, boy! I shudder to imagine the number of coconut-related injuries your people sustain every year."
"Well, to be honest such injuries are pretty rare."
"Rare! Hohoho! I don't know who you're kidding boy. Are you pulling my leg?"
"No, no, I'm being serious. Coconuts aren't nearly as dangerous as you appear to think!"
"Hahahaha! Oh, you've made my day, boy! You Maldivians have a good sense of humour too! I'll tell me wife of that. Incidentally, do you know anyone who could help me wife and I to go over there for cheap? It's our 25th anniversary this summer and what better way than to spend it in the tropical sun, eh boy?"
Yes, stereotypes and generalisation; two extremely annoying traits you're likely to encounter in foreign lands. Although some of them can be pretty amusing like the example mentioned above, others can be downright nasty. The nasty stuff can be attributed to racism or xenophobia. Or even fascism, but they all promote the same thing; hatred.
Which reminds me of Paulo Di Canio, the former Italian footballer who infamously made the Nazi salute after scoring a goal. When accused of being a racist, he replied, "I'm not a racist. I'm a fascist." What an idiot...
An even bigger douchebag than you previously thoughtAnd it's a growing trend here in Maldives. Some of us appear to have the illusion that we Maldivians are superior in front of our fellow South Asians, and I'm sure that the rest of us are thoroughly mystified. If the historical facts we've come up with by collecting various evidence are accurate, then we're descendants of a mixture of tribes; Dravidians, Arabs, Black Africans and North Indian Aryans. But does any of this matter? Well, no, unless you're a completely ignorant fool.
And unfortunately, some of us appear to have happily embraced the Completely Ignorant Fool tag. I've seen plenty of blogs owned by Maldivians which shamelessly conjures articles week after week containing shocking derogatory language against "Bangalhis". Recently, several groups have popped up on Facebook calling for the expulsion of "Bangalhis" from Maldives, and their grotesque members have even uploaded photos of immigrant workers being subjected to all sorts of discriminatory acts, which the members of the groups appear to find amusing. Of course, if you confront any of these bigots then they'll always give you the same, Redneck answer:
"I don't like 'em immigrants. They come 'ere 'n steal our jobs."
Fine, then. Why don't you cycle to the garbage dump every evening with bulging bags of rubbish that makes you smell for weeks on end, or get involved in the construction of buildings from eight in the morning till sunset and risk getting baked in the sun, or perhaps maintain the sewers which, once again, will make you smell bad for weeks on end. What? No? It's not your job? Well then, what's with the double standards?
As we're all aware of, the racist attacks on foreigners, particularly Bangladeshi immigrant workers have been getting increasingly gruesome. I won't even bother to discuss them. And the abuse is not just limited to bodily harm, but you get the feeling that the verbal abuse is even worse.
What we Maldivians don't like to admit is the fact that we're getting increasingly unpopular amongst the South Asian countries. A friend of my mother's once told us how her family were residing in an area in Sri Lanka far away from where Maldivians usually stay.
"They call us drug dealers," she said. And you wonder why, looking at the way young Maldivians who go over there to "pursue their education" behave themselves.
All this hatred that has crept into our society wouldn't exist if people really acted like true believers. I recently read an interview of a man, who used to be a hardcore member of the KKK (that is a racist organization in the USA) who converted to Islam. In it, he said something that was really interesting:
"The other element [of my change] was [that] when you hate somebody so passionately and you just live and just consume the hatred everyday, it starts to deteriorate. It's like a cancer because it destroys your personality, it distorts your soul, and it destroys [those] close to you because it wears off on other people. I was inflicting more harm on myself than the people I hated. I was basically destroying my family and anyone else who had contact with me."
You can read the full interview here:
http://www.beautifulislam.com/converts/kkk_to_islam.htm
In a country where the majority of its citizens claim to followers of Islam, it is embarrassing to witness such acts of cowardice. If only these cowards bothered to learn more about the way of life, I'm absolutely certain that ones race will not even be considered an issue. That is because racism has no place in Islam.
Which brings us to some wise words said by the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).
A man once visited the Prophets mosque in Madina. There he saw a group of people sitting and discussing their faith together. Among them were Salman (who came from Persia), Suhayb who grew up in the Eastern Roman empire and was regarded as a Greek, and Bilal who was an African. The man then said:
"If the (Madinan) tribes of Aws and Khazraj support Muhammad, (it is understood because they are Arabs like him) they are his people. But what are these (foreign) people doing here?" (Implying an obvious dislike for foreigners) The Prophet became very angry when this was reported to him. He went to the mosque and summoned people to prayer. He then addressed them saying:
"O people, know that the Lord and Sustainer is One. Your ancestor is one; your faith is one. The Arabism of anyone of you is not (by virtue of the nobility of) your mother or father. It is no more than a tongue (language) The Prophet further said: Let people stop boasting about their ancestors. One is only a pious believer or a miserable sinner. All men are sons of Adam, and Adam came from dust." [(Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi)]
"Humanity is the family of Allah, the best human is one who is kind to His (Allahs) family. (Mishkat) Extending a helping hand to a foreigner is extending your hand to your own family member."
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Books you wouldn't expect to read anytime soon
I just finished reading Airman, yet another classic by Eoin Colfer, and I'm not being dramatic by saying that that was probably the best piece of fiction I've ever read. So understandably, I'm feeling somewhat book-ish. So without further ado:
How to Give Awe Inspiring Speeches in Public by Mohamed Nasheed "Anni"
Frugal Living by Maumoon Abdul Gayyoom
An In-Depth Look Into the Quantum Phenomena by Ali Seezan
A Man For All Islands: Umar Naseer, a biography by Royston Ellis
Your Guide To Beating Narcissism by Cristiano Ronaldo
Laugh Out Loud Jokes by Ayatollah Khomeini
How to Sustain An Active Lifestyle During Your Latter Years by Ariel Sharon
A Guide to English Vocabulary by George W Bush
Grab Votes; 101 Ways to Become Popular Amongst the Public by Ibrahim Ismail
Silence is Golden: The Virtues of Keeping Your Trap Shut by Mohamed Nasheed (former Information Minister)
The Many Different Contraceptive Methods by the Pope
Good Career Moves I've Made So Far and How You Can Learn From Them by Ali Ashfaq
An honorable mention:
This one is actually real believe it or not..
Feel free to add your suggestions. I'm looking forward to them.
How to Give Awe Inspiring Speeches in Public by Mohamed Nasheed "Anni"
Frugal Living by Maumoon Abdul Gayyoom
An In-Depth Look Into the Quantum Phenomena by Ali Seezan
A Man For All Islands: Umar Naseer, a biography by Royston Ellis
Your Guide To Beating Narcissism by Cristiano Ronaldo
Laugh Out Loud Jokes by Ayatollah Khomeini
How to Sustain An Active Lifestyle During Your Latter Years by Ariel Sharon
A Guide to English Vocabulary by George W Bush
Grab Votes; 101 Ways to Become Popular Amongst the Public by Ibrahim Ismail
Silence is Golden: The Virtues of Keeping Your Trap Shut by Mohamed Nasheed (former Information Minister)
The Many Different Contraceptive Methods by the Pope
Good Career Moves I've Made So Far and How You Can Learn From Them by Ali Ashfaq
An honorable mention:
This one is actually real believe it or not..Feel free to add your suggestions. I'm looking forward to them.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
The Gaza massacre
The current killing spree conducted by Israel is the latest chapter of Zionist occupation that have been stained and soaked by the blood of Palestinians. Even though the government of Israel have used the excuse "We're attacking to defeat Hamas", no sane, unbiased person will be fooled into believing that. They're using this latest genocide as a tool to gain support from the grotesque Israeli public for the upcoming elections. In order to discuss this post, I'll try my best to give you all an in-depth look to the root of all the evil; Zionism.
First, let's look at a brief history of Palestine. It is a place where many of the Prophets were born or died, including Ibrahim, Lut, Dawud, Sulayman, Musa and `Isa (peace be upon them). Also, we musn't forget that Baitul-Maqdis was the site of Prophet Muhammad's (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) Isra' and Mi'raj.
Palestine was brought under Islamic rule during the time of Umar ibn al-Khattab, may Allah be pleased with him. The new laws were welcomed not only by Muslims, but by the Christians and Jews as well. Prior to Islamic rule, the Palestinians had been living under the tyrannical Byzantines. In fact, after witnessing the humbleness of Umar (r.a) and the Muslims, Sophronius, the Greek Orthodox Patriarch of Jerusalem gave him the keys to the city. There was also another famous incident where Umar was invited to the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, and when prayer time arrived he was given permission to pray inside the church by the Patriarch of Alexandria, Eutychius. However, Umar declined the offer and prayed outside the church instead, citing that if he prayed inside the church, he feared that future generations of Muslims may take it as an excuse to forcefully convert the church to a mosque. In addition to this, Jews were able to live in Jerusalem and practice their religion freely for the first time since they were banished 500 years prior to that. According to Encyclopaedia Judaica, 70 Jewish families took up residence in the city.
- 1099 A.C. Palestine was invaded by the European Crusaders and subsequently occupied for nearly a century. During the occupation massacres and great injustices were committed against the Muslim, Jewish and native Christian residents of the area. The only law applied in the holy land blessed by Allah was the law of force and persecution.
- 1187 A.C. Palestine was liberated by the Muslims under the leadership of Salahuddin Al-Ayyubi (Saladin the Magnificent) who brought back Islamic law to the area.
- 1917 the British government issued the Balfour Declaration which declared Palestine to be a homeland for Jews. At the time Jews made up approximately 8% of the population of Palestine and owned approximately 2.5% of the land.
- 1918 the British and their Arab nationalist allies defeated the Ottomans. The British dismembered the Ottoman Empire and occupied Palestine. The British immediately began a campaign of immigrating European Jews to Palestine.
- 1948 the Jews claimed the establishment of a state for themselves over the land of Palestine and called it Israel. Hundreds of thousands of Muslims were forced out of Palestine under the military pressure of Jewish terrorist groups such as the Irgun, Levi, and Haganot which were financed and armed by the British army.
- 1967 Israel attacked Egypt, Jordan and Syria and occupied more land including, for the first time, Al-Masjid Al-Aqsa. Since that time Al-Masjid Al-Aqsa has been the target of several attempts by the Jews to destroy or burn it, including several attempts to bring about its collapse through underground excavations. The Jews know that Al-Masjid Al-Aqsa is symbolic of the Islamic nature of the land and want to remove any trace of Islamic civilization from Palestine.
When we look at all these facts, one thing becomes crystal clear; it is only Islamic rule that will bring peace and prosperity to a country. For Islamic rule to be implemented, two factors must be considered;
1. Muslims should make up the majority of the population. The Zionists have been attempting to make people believe that creating two states, i.e. Palestine and Israel alongside each other, will help the citizens of both states to prosper. This will not work, and in any case, their main objective is to drive out the Muslims from the area.
2. The heads of the Palestinian state should consist of Muslims with sufficient knowledge of their religion, and enough thaqwa to act upon what they've learnt. Appointing pro-democrats will only contribute, yet again, to the downfall of the nation.
It must also be noted that anti-Zionism have been mentioned in the same breath as Antisemitism by Western media sources, so much so that many appear to believe that the two ideologies are the same thing. For an example, there was a meeting held by the Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmedinejad and several anti-Zionist Rabbis to conduct discussions about the evils of Zionism. CNN covered this rather extensively it must be said, with the headline "DENYING THE HOLOCAUST", with Bush and his cronies appearing randomly to criticize the meeting, calling it antisemitic. In fact, one of the invitees of the meeting clearly mentioned just as the meeting began that it had nothing to do with the Holocaust, they weren't discussing anything about it. The only time that they mentioned the Holocaust was when they agreed upon the fact that Zionists were using in as an excuse to drive Palestinians out of their homeland. This brings us to a few words uttered by the Finnish Foreign Minister Errki Tuomioja back during 2001:
"I am shocked that Israel's policy is to humiliate, to hurt, and to impoverish the Palestinians. What could be the result of this except eternal hatred? Israel's actions are especially difficult to accept because the Jews, more than anyone else should know how horrible it is for a whole nation to be persecuted. It is very troubling that the policies of the Israelis against the Palestinians are similar to those which victimized them in the 1930s."
Predictably, he was much criticized after this. In this age of globalization, we're not allowed to look deep into the heinous acts of crime committed by the so-called saviors of the human race, i.e. USA, UK, and the rest of the G8. I was watched coverage of the Gaza massacre on several Western news channels like the Australia Network, Fox News etc and was not surprised to see that their correspondents were strategically placed in Israel where the "Israelis were living in constant fear." I call it shambolic journalism.
* "The Torah] forbids us to strive for the reunion or possession of the land by any but spiritual means."
Rabbi S. R. Hirsch
* "Not via our desire did we leave the land of Israel, and not via our power will we come back to the land of Israel."
Rabbi S.D. Schneerson
* "[Zionists] want a state in order to make Jews into heretics."
Rabbi C. Soloveichik
* "The Zionists have attacked the center point of Judaism."
Rabbi V. Soloveichik
Zionists are aware that their ideology utterly is baseless. Recently I watched a video of an interview with Yusuf al-Khattab, a Jewish convert to Islam. He came in contact with an Arab Muslim and started to learn about some of the teachings of Islam. He mentioned that he often repeated the questions he asked the Arab guy in front of Zionist Rabbis (he was living in Israel at the time) just to see what kind of answers they gave him. On one such occasion, he asked the question, "Do you think it is better if we live under the Islamic Sharia, where women are dressed modestly and such, or if we continue to live like the way we're doing right now?"
The Rabbi looked around, raised a finger to his lips and said, "Shh!"
"It was then that I realized what garbage people they were," said Yusuf, "they don't even stand up to what they believe."
Illegal Jewish settlers attempt to burn down a house containing a family of 20 Palestinians, who've climbed the roof of the house while Jews try to egg them from above. One of the many incidents that received little to no coverage by Western media sources.
But, amongst all the confusion created by the tyrants, lone voices of truth are speaking out. As Martin Luther King said, "The tragedy is not the brutality of evil but the silence of good people." In this age of mass media, we should feel obliged to deliver the truth to many who've been kept in the dark for too long. Like this Jewish Rabbi:
I also find it very saddening to see that many people of my age pay little to no attention to this. Many of them say, "There's nothing we can do" and that is it. But there is a lot we can do! We can pray to Allah to ease the suffering of the Gazans, to give them strength during these perilous times, to keep their faith in Allah strong, and insha Allah the state of Palestine will be ours again!
Fight those who fight you, but do not transgress limits; for Allah loves not the transgressors. [The Holy Quran, 2:190]
And fight them on until there is no more tumult and oppression, and there prevail Justice and Faith in Allah. [The Holy Quran, 2:193]
And Slacken not in Following up on the Enemy: If you are suffering hardships, they are suffering similar hardships: But you have hope from God while they have none. God is full of Knowledge and Wisdom. [The Holy Quran 4: 104]
First, let's look at a brief history of Palestine. It is a place where many of the Prophets were born or died, including Ibrahim, Lut, Dawud, Sulayman, Musa and `Isa (peace be upon them). Also, we musn't forget that Baitul-Maqdis was the site of Prophet Muhammad's (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) Isra' and Mi'raj.
Palestine was brought under Islamic rule during the time of Umar ibn al-Khattab, may Allah be pleased with him. The new laws were welcomed not only by Muslims, but by the Christians and Jews as well. Prior to Islamic rule, the Palestinians had been living under the tyrannical Byzantines. In fact, after witnessing the humbleness of Umar (r.a) and the Muslims, Sophronius, the Greek Orthodox Patriarch of Jerusalem gave him the keys to the city. There was also another famous incident where Umar was invited to the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, and when prayer time arrived he was given permission to pray inside the church by the Patriarch of Alexandria, Eutychius. However, Umar declined the offer and prayed outside the church instead, citing that if he prayed inside the church, he feared that future generations of Muslims may take it as an excuse to forcefully convert the church to a mosque. In addition to this, Jews were able to live in Jerusalem and practice their religion freely for the first time since they were banished 500 years prior to that. According to Encyclopaedia Judaica, 70 Jewish families took up residence in the city.
- 1099 A.C. Palestine was invaded by the European Crusaders and subsequently occupied for nearly a century. During the occupation massacres and great injustices were committed against the Muslim, Jewish and native Christian residents of the area. The only law applied in the holy land blessed by Allah was the law of force and persecution.
- 1187 A.C. Palestine was liberated by the Muslims under the leadership of Salahuddin Al-Ayyubi (Saladin the Magnificent) who brought back Islamic law to the area.
- 1917 the British government issued the Balfour Declaration which declared Palestine to be a homeland for Jews. At the time Jews made up approximately 8% of the population of Palestine and owned approximately 2.5% of the land.
- 1918 the British and their Arab nationalist allies defeated the Ottomans. The British dismembered the Ottoman Empire and occupied Palestine. The British immediately began a campaign of immigrating European Jews to Palestine.
- 1948 the Jews claimed the establishment of a state for themselves over the land of Palestine and called it Israel. Hundreds of thousands of Muslims were forced out of Palestine under the military pressure of Jewish terrorist groups such as the Irgun, Levi, and Haganot which were financed and armed by the British army.
- 1967 Israel attacked Egypt, Jordan and Syria and occupied more land including, for the first time, Al-Masjid Al-Aqsa. Since that time Al-Masjid Al-Aqsa has been the target of several attempts by the Jews to destroy or burn it, including several attempts to bring about its collapse through underground excavations. The Jews know that Al-Masjid Al-Aqsa is symbolic of the Islamic nature of the land and want to remove any trace of Islamic civilization from Palestine.
When we look at all these facts, one thing becomes crystal clear; it is only Islamic rule that will bring peace and prosperity to a country. For Islamic rule to be implemented, two factors must be considered;
1. Muslims should make up the majority of the population. The Zionists have been attempting to make people believe that creating two states, i.e. Palestine and Israel alongside each other, will help the citizens of both states to prosper. This will not work, and in any case, their main objective is to drive out the Muslims from the area.
2. The heads of the Palestinian state should consist of Muslims with sufficient knowledge of their religion, and enough thaqwa to act upon what they've learnt. Appointing pro-democrats will only contribute, yet again, to the downfall of the nation.
It must also be noted that anti-Zionism have been mentioned in the same breath as Antisemitism by Western media sources, so much so that many appear to believe that the two ideologies are the same thing. For an example, there was a meeting held by the Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmedinejad and several anti-Zionist Rabbis to conduct discussions about the evils of Zionism. CNN covered this rather extensively it must be said, with the headline "DENYING THE HOLOCAUST", with Bush and his cronies appearing randomly to criticize the meeting, calling it antisemitic. In fact, one of the invitees of the meeting clearly mentioned just as the meeting began that it had nothing to do with the Holocaust, they weren't discussing anything about it. The only time that they mentioned the Holocaust was when they agreed upon the fact that Zionists were using in as an excuse to drive Palestinians out of their homeland. This brings us to a few words uttered by the Finnish Foreign Minister Errki Tuomioja back during 2001:
"I am shocked that Israel's policy is to humiliate, to hurt, and to impoverish the Palestinians. What could be the result of this except eternal hatred? Israel's actions are especially difficult to accept because the Jews, more than anyone else should know how horrible it is for a whole nation to be persecuted. It is very troubling that the policies of the Israelis against the Palestinians are similar to those which victimized them in the 1930s."
Predictably, he was much criticized after this. In this age of globalization, we're not allowed to look deep into the heinous acts of crime committed by the so-called saviors of the human race, i.e. USA, UK, and the rest of the G8. I was watched coverage of the Gaza massacre on several Western news channels like the Australia Network, Fox News etc and was not surprised to see that their correspondents were strategically placed in Israel where the "Israelis were living in constant fear." I call it shambolic journalism.
* "The Torah] forbids us to strive for the reunion or possession of the land by any but spiritual means."
Rabbi S. R. Hirsch
* "Not via our desire did we leave the land of Israel, and not via our power will we come back to the land of Israel."
Rabbi S.D. Schneerson
* "[Zionists] want a state in order to make Jews into heretics."
Rabbi C. Soloveichik
* "The Zionists have attacked the center point of Judaism."
Rabbi V. Soloveichik
Zionists are aware that their ideology utterly is baseless. Recently I watched a video of an interview with Yusuf al-Khattab, a Jewish convert to Islam. He came in contact with an Arab Muslim and started to learn about some of the teachings of Islam. He mentioned that he often repeated the questions he asked the Arab guy in front of Zionist Rabbis (he was living in Israel at the time) just to see what kind of answers they gave him. On one such occasion, he asked the question, "Do you think it is better if we live under the Islamic Sharia, where women are dressed modestly and such, or if we continue to live like the way we're doing right now?"
The Rabbi looked around, raised a finger to his lips and said, "Shh!"
"It was then that I realized what garbage people they were," said Yusuf, "they don't even stand up to what they believe."
Illegal Jewish settlers attempt to burn down a house containing a family of 20 Palestinians, who've climbed the roof of the house while Jews try to egg them from above. One of the many incidents that received little to no coverage by Western media sources.But, amongst all the confusion created by the tyrants, lone voices of truth are speaking out. As Martin Luther King said, "The tragedy is not the brutality of evil but the silence of good people." In this age of mass media, we should feel obliged to deliver the truth to many who've been kept in the dark for too long. Like this Jewish Rabbi:
I also find it very saddening to see that many people of my age pay little to no attention to this. Many of them say, "There's nothing we can do" and that is it. But there is a lot we can do! We can pray to Allah to ease the suffering of the Gazans, to give them strength during these perilous times, to keep their faith in Allah strong, and insha Allah the state of Palestine will be ours again!
Fight those who fight you, but do not transgress limits; for Allah loves not the transgressors. [The Holy Quran, 2:190]
And fight them on until there is no more tumult and oppression, and there prevail Justice and Faith in Allah. [The Holy Quran, 2:193]
And Slacken not in Following up on the Enemy: If you are suffering hardships, they are suffering similar hardships: But you have hope from God while they have none. God is full of Knowledge and Wisdom. [The Holy Quran 4: 104]
Friday, December 12, 2008
5 weird leaders
Hello there again. I know it's been a while since my last post, more than a month in fact! During that I'd been spending my time fruitfully; working, reading and learning. Whatever, I hope you enjoyed the holidays and are now totally burned out :P
Anyway, I decided to introduce something new to this blog. They're called top lists, and my future posts will, hopefully, be in this form occasionally. Today's topic is about five rather eccentric leaders that I know about. You probably want to ask, "Only five?" I know, modern day politicians are an unusual breed, but I've done my best here with my very limited knowledge on global politics. Plus if I were to write about all of them I'll probably be going on forever. Alright, without further ado, let me introduce you to
Of course, any sane unbiased person would immediately label him as a dictator. But as things stand, however horrible you are, if your ideologies go against Islamic teachings then apparently you can NEVER be a dictator. This is evidenced by the way he's hero-worshiped by some of those brainwashed Turks and of course, the (even more brainwashed) secularists.
Mustafa Kemal Ataturk choosing the party candidates for the MPs.
4) George Walker Bush
Yeah, he only made #4 on the list. I'm not going to bother typing a profile of him. His quotes just sum him up.
To set the tone a little, here's the first one:
"I hope you leave here and walk out and say, 'What did he say?"
- George W. Bush, Beaverton, Oregon, Aug. 13, 2004.
He must be pleased.
"We spent a lot of time talking about Africa, as we should. Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease." —Gothenburg, Sweden, June 14, 2001
Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004
"I glance at the headlines just to kind of get a flavor for what's moving. I rarely read the stories, and get briefed by people who are probably read the news themselves." —Washington, D.C., Sept. 21, 2003
"You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror." -interview with CBS News' Katie Couric, Sept. 6, 2006
"I am here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan Airport." —Washington, D.C., Oct. 3, 2001
I cut the taxes on everybody. I didn't cut them. The Congress cut them. I asked them to cut them.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Aug. 6, 2004
"Oh, no, we're not going to have any casualties." —discussing the Iraq war with Christian Coalition founder Pat Robertson, as quoted by Robertson
"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." -Saginaw, Mich., Sept. 29, 2000
I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 25, 2004
"We need an energy bill that encourages consumption." —Trenton, N.J., Sept. 23, 2002
"They misunderestimated me." -Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000
The march to war hurt the economy. Laura reminded me a while ago that remember what was on the TV screens -- she calls me, 'George W.' -- 'George W.' I call her, 'First Lady.' No, anyway -- she said, we said, march to war on our TV screen.
- George W. Bush, Bay Shore, New York, Mar. 11, 2004
"Do you have blacks, too?" —to Brazilian President Fernando Cardoso, Washington, D.C., Nov. 8, 2001
"For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three non-fatal shootings. And, folks, this is unacceptable in America. It's just unacceptable. And we're going to do something about it." -Philadelphia, Penn., May 14, 2001
The best way to find these terrorists who hide in holes is to get people coming forth to describe the location of the hole, is to give clues and data.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Dec. 15, 2003
"This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating." —as quoted by the New York Daily News, April 23, 2002
"We found the weapons of mass destruction. We found biological laboratories ... And we'll find more weapons as time goes on. But for those who say we haven't found the banned manufacturing devices or banned weapons, they're wrong, we found them." -Washington, D.C., May 30, 2003
"Those weapons of mass destruction have got to be somewhere!" -joking about his administration's failure to find WMDs in Iraq as he narrated a comic slideshow during the Radio & TV Correspondents' Association dinner, Washington, D.C., March 24, 2004
"See, free nations are peaceful nations. Free nations don't attack each other. Free nations don't develop weapons of mass destruction."
- George W. Bush, Milwaukee, Wis., Oct. 3, 2003, proving that the USA is not a free country.
"It is white." —after being asked by a child in Britain what the White House was like, July 19, 2001
"There's an old saying in Tennessee -- I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee -- that says, fool me once, shame on --shame on you. Fool me -- you can't get fooled again." -Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002
She is a fabulous First Lady. I was a lucky man when she said, yes, I agree to marry you. I love her dearly, and I'm proud of the job she's doing on behalf of all Americans. Just like I love my brother.
- George W. Bush, Jacksonville, Florida, Sep. 9, 2003
"I'm also not very analytical. You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things." —aboard Air Force One, June 4, 2003
"The British government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa." -State of the Union Address, Jan. 28, 2003, making a claim that administration officials knew at the time to be false
Our country puts $1 billion a year up to help feed the hungry. And we're by far the most generous nation in the world when it comes to that, and I'm proud to report that. This isn't a contest of who's the most generous. I'm just telling you as an aside. We're generous. We shouldn't be bragging about it. But we are. We're very generous.
- George W. Bush, bragging about not bragging, Washington, D.C., July 16, 2003
"But all in all, it's been a fabulous year for Laura and me." —summing up his first year in office, three months after the 9/11 attacks, Washington, D.C., Dec. 20, 2001
"You work three jobs? ... Uniquely American, isn't it? I mean, that is fantastic that you're doing that." -to a divorced mother of three, Omaha, Nebraska, Feb. 4, 2005
I recently met with the finance minister of the Palestinian Authority, was very impressed by his grasp of finances.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 29, 2003
I think war is a dangerous place.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 7, 2003
Now, we talked to Joan Hanover. She and her husband, George, were visiting with us. They are near retirement - retiring - in the process of retiring, meaning they're very smart, active, capable people who are retirement age and are retiring.
- George W. Bush, Alexandria, Va., Feb. 12, 2003
It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it.
- George W. Bush
I think anybody who doesn't think I'm smart enough to handle the job is underestimating.
- George W. Bush
The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case.
- George W. Bush
I want to thank my friend, Senator Bill Frist, for joining us today. You're doing a heck of a job. You cut your teeth here, right? That's where you started practicing? That's good. He married a Texas girl, I want you to know. Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me.
- George W. Bush, Nashville, Tenn., May 27, 2004
The Pope, made to sit through a Bush speech.
3) Kim Il-sung
Recently I visited the official website of DPR Korea to get a little bit of an idea of just how much this guy is revered over there. The forums were, unsurprisingly, severely moderated and censored. The moderators accepted only certain types of questions, you know, the ones that do not question the authority of their 'Great Leader' in any shape or form. In fact I highly doubt whether the questions were actually posed by visitors to that website.
Q: "I'm afraid this could be the silliest question ever in the KFA Forum, but I'm curious about it. I've recently read that NK people can't sit or folding newspapers due to the picture of Dear Leader appearing on the cover, if this is right, what do North Koreans do when they have read the newspapers? How do they get rid of them?"
A: "That is true. Many years ago, they found out that when people folded their Won bills in half to fit into wallets, the picture of Kim-Il Sung got folded. Out of respect, they moved the picture to the side so when the bill got folded, the picture remained undefaced. I'm not too sure about how newspaper is recycled."
Oh yes, he's quite literally worshiped over there, which is ironic since following a religion is forbidden in that communist country. North Koreans also believe that he's some sort of almighty God who created the world, and hence he has no beginning! The funny thing about this is that his birthday and day of death are considered national holidays. He has turned North Koreans into an insult to the human race.
This is only the tip of the iceberg.
He made the country's army the central pillar of his regime where he exercised absolute power using demagogy as a tool. You'd think being a dictator was bad enough, but to actually make people treat him as though he was a demigod is just mind blowing. During his reign of power, everything was state owned. Say you were riding a (probably state owned) bicycle through the streets of Pyongyang when suddenly a tire bursts. In order to patch it up, you drag the state owned bicycle to a state owned garage, where a guy whose wages are payed by the government fixes the (state owned) bicycle using state owned tools. You then thank the Great Leader by bowing down in front of a picture of him, which isn't difficult since probably every single building in that country has at least one.
During his leadership, North Korea became completely isolated from the rest of the world thanks to his Juche (self-reliant) philosophy, bar a few limited contacts with China. However China too became increasingly distant and when the Soviet Union collapsed, the country was left all alone. Despite the awful economic situation and the horrendous living conditions of the Koreans all the while when this man was living a life of luxury, the Korean media continued to lionize him. He died after a sudden heart attack in 1994 and his funeral was attended by thousands who were seen weeping dramatically. The video can be seen here.
It was said that as he grew older, some sort of a growth developed on the back of his neck. To prevent this from being seen, North Korean photographers took photos of him from a certain angle, but this became rather difficult after a while when the growth became the size of a baseball!
Oh yeah, did I mention that he's also the country's Eternal President?
2) Kim Jong-il
A classic case of Like Father, Like son. He didn't become President of DPR Korea since his father is the "Eternal President", remember? Instead, he was appointed as the Chairman of the National Defense Commission, which, incidentally was announced as the highest post of the state. Since he's not the president he's not required to hold elections and to no one's surprise, hasn't done so.
Okay, I visited the official DPRK website again and found another interesting question posed by a visitor.
Q: "In America I can sit on Bush's picture and expel gas. Is the Dear Leader equal to Kings?"
A: "The Great Leader is indeed higher than Kings. While Kings are only concerned about the aristocratic circle, Kim Jong-Il is the father and nexus of the full society.
What makes him more great is that although having such power and trust from the people, never shows his opulence and is a very humble person in every aspect of his life."
His leadership is almost a carbon copy to that of his fathers'. He commands absolute obedience, and failure to do so is in his opinion, a sign of disloyalty. Those disloyal to him or his army (now the world's 5th largest) are sent to concentration camps where God knows what horrors lie in store for them. He's known as The Dear Leader, and his birthday is a national holiday.
In addition to his cruel leadership, he's also recognised as a playboy. His extravagant lifestyle, which includes filthy amounts of money spent on purchasing luxury cars, a wine cellar in one of his numerous homes and collecting movies. He's an avid film fan and reportedly owns over 20,000 video tapes, so it was only expected that he wanted to develop a North Korean film industry. His solution? Kidnapping a South Korean film director and his actress wife. Unique, to say the least. He's also a womanizer and had relationships with numerous women. I'm guessing the line, "My father is the Eternal President" turned out to be pretty useful. Like his father, he too has a fear of flying. During one of his trips to Russia via train, he reportedly had live lobsters airlifted to him everyday, which he ate using silver chopsticks. In his autobiography, he claims that he has a genius IQ and that he has written 6 operas and designed at least one structure. Most accuse him of insanity.
During the latter part of this year, there were rumours that he had suffered a stroke and possibly died. The North Korean government and media (almost the same thing really; the media is totally controlled by the government) kept mysteriously quite on this issue and were finally forced to admit that he had suffered a "minor" stroke. To prove that he's in top physical condition now, their Central News Agency published photos of him to the world, though the authenticity of these have been questioned by anyone with an above average IQ. There have been rumours that he suffered a second stroke last month. I think it will be more appropriate if he could just get out and show himself!
He's also 5'2" and wears 4 inch platform shoes to disguise his shortness. I should do that too!
1) Saparmurat Niyazov
I'm not sure if I could fit all his eccentricities into this post, but when 99.9% of a country's population vote in favour of the incumbent President to extend his presidiency, and when the parliament declares him President for Life, you'll probably be able smell trouble from the other end of the globe. That was exactly what happened at Turkmenistan, a country which gained independence after the fall of the Soviet Union.
Turkmenistan is not exactly the most well-known country. That is because like the two Korean leaders mentioned above, this man decided to isolate his country from the rest of the world and develop a personality cult. Although we may have to invent a new word as a substitute for 'personality cult'. That's because this guy was incredibly egocentric. And stupid.
He declared himself as Turkmenbashi, meaning "Father of all Turkmen". Amongst the bizarre things he's done, it includes banning beards, forcing his countrymen to have only one pet at the most so that "herds may be avoided", renaming the month April to "Gurbansoltan Eje" in honour of his dead mother, and renaming other months, years and days of the week after his family members and famous Turkmeni personalities. Oh and he renamed the year 2002 after himself, Turkmenbashi.
Teacher writes the date, 24th of Wednesday, Turkmenbashi
He also assigned the second Sunday of August as a national holiday, calling it Melon Day in honour of the melon. Why can't we have a Rihaakuru Day?
He squandered millions of dollars on building a zoo and a ski resort in the middle of the desert, too. Who cares if the civilians are starving, eh?
The Neutrality Arch, atop the monument is a gold-plated statue of Niyazov which rotates 360 degrees every 24 hours so as to always face the sun. - Wikipedia
During his time, the economy of Turkmenistan crippled and plunged to a somewhat perilous state. But he didn't mind! There're portraits and gold plated statues of him all throughout the country staring down upon the hungry civilians. When he tinted his grey hair black, teams were rushed to retouch official portraits and statues accordingly. He also opened a Ministry of Fairness, whatever that meant.
Turkmenistan has the fifth-largest natural gas reserves, and as long as Niyazov continued to pump gas into Europe, he would've been seen as a jolly old bear with some hilarious eccentricities. And that was how things were, though there was a much darker side. There were no such things as press freedom, only 0.7% of the population used the internet since he'd ordered to shut down all internet cafe's. He ordered all doctors to take oath to him and dismissed 15,000 health workers, replacing them with military conscripts who'd been ordered to use his medical textbooks. He likes to think he's a good physician despite having no training and next to no knowledge on this subject.
His weirdness was confirmed (as though we don't need any more convincing) when he published a book, the Ruhnama. If you were to believe him, this is THE ultimate book. It contains absolutely everything, from spiritual and moral guidance, his autobiography (of course), and some history lessons with highly disputed facts. Not only was it made compulsory for every Turkmen to read and learn from it, but it was also integrated into the nation's education curriculum. You've to learn it in order to pass driving exams too! Niyazov also attempted to keep copies of it in the churches and mosques. Obviously the imams weren't too happy with keeping a book written by a senile dictator alongside the Qur'an and they let their feelings known. Turkmenbashi's solution was to bulldoze a few mosques.
This is a monument to the Ruhnama, probably the first ever monument of a book. It's situated in the capital Ashgabad, and at 8:00 pm every evening, it opens and plays recorded passages from the book accompanied by video. You're not allowed to critisize this in any shape or form if you don't want to be subjected to torture and imprisonment. Most importantly, according to Niyazov, reading this book thrice will guarantee you a ticket to heaven! Fantastic, eh?
Anyway, I decided to introduce something new to this blog. They're called top lists, and my future posts will, hopefully, be in this form occasionally. Today's topic is about five rather eccentric leaders that I know about. You probably want to ask, "Only five?" I know, modern day politicians are an unusual breed, but I've done my best here with my very limited knowledge on global politics. Plus if I were to write about all of them I'll probably be going on forever. Alright, without further ado, let me introduce you to
5) Mustafa Kemal Atatürk
A man much revered by many of the modern day Turks, going as far as calling him the 'Father of Turkey'. Secularists keep a poster of him above their beds so that they can kiss it before going to sleep every evening.
Of course, any sane unbiased person would immediately label him as a dictator. But as things stand, however horrible you are, if your ideologies go against Islamic teachings then apparently you can NEVER be a dictator. This is evidenced by the way he's hero-worshiped by some of those brainwashed Turks and of course, the (even more brainwashed) secularists.
Mustafa Kemal Ataturk choosing the party candidates for the MPs. 4) George Walker Bush
Yeah, he only made #4 on the list. I'm not going to bother typing a profile of him. His quotes just sum him up.
To set the tone a little, here's the first one:
"I hope you leave here and walk out and say, 'What did he say?"
- George W. Bush, Beaverton, Oregon, Aug. 13, 2004.
He must be pleased.
"We spent a lot of time talking about Africa, as we should. Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease." —Gothenburg, Sweden, June 14, 2001
Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004
"I glance at the headlines just to kind of get a flavor for what's moving. I rarely read the stories, and get briefed by people who are probably read the news themselves." —Washington, D.C., Sept. 21, 2003
"You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror." -interview with CBS News' Katie Couric, Sept. 6, 2006
"I am here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan Airport." —Washington, D.C., Oct. 3, 2001
I cut the taxes on everybody. I didn't cut them. The Congress cut them. I asked them to cut them.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Aug. 6, 2004
"Oh, no, we're not going to have any casualties." —discussing the Iraq war with Christian Coalition founder Pat Robertson, as quoted by Robertson
"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." -Saginaw, Mich., Sept. 29, 2000
I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 25, 2004
"We need an energy bill that encourages consumption." —Trenton, N.J., Sept. 23, 2002
"They misunderestimated me." -Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000
The march to war hurt the economy. Laura reminded me a while ago that remember what was on the TV screens -- she calls me, 'George W.' -- 'George W.' I call her, 'First Lady.' No, anyway -- she said, we said, march to war on our TV screen.
- George W. Bush, Bay Shore, New York, Mar. 11, 2004
"Do you have blacks, too?" —to Brazilian President Fernando Cardoso, Washington, D.C., Nov. 8, 2001
"For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three non-fatal shootings. And, folks, this is unacceptable in America. It's just unacceptable. And we're going to do something about it." -Philadelphia, Penn., May 14, 2001
The best way to find these terrorists who hide in holes is to get people coming forth to describe the location of the hole, is to give clues and data.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Dec. 15, 2003
"This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating." —as quoted by the New York Daily News, April 23, 2002
"We found the weapons of mass destruction. We found biological laboratories ... And we'll find more weapons as time goes on. But for those who say we haven't found the banned manufacturing devices or banned weapons, they're wrong, we found them." -Washington, D.C., May 30, 2003
"Those weapons of mass destruction have got to be somewhere!" -joking about his administration's failure to find WMDs in Iraq as he narrated a comic slideshow during the Radio & TV Correspondents' Association dinner, Washington, D.C., March 24, 2004
"See, free nations are peaceful nations. Free nations don't attack each other. Free nations don't develop weapons of mass destruction."
- George W. Bush, Milwaukee, Wis., Oct. 3, 2003, proving that the USA is not a free country.
"It is white." —after being asked by a child in Britain what the White House was like, July 19, 2001
"There's an old saying in Tennessee -- I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee -- that says, fool me once, shame on --shame on you. Fool me -- you can't get fooled again." -Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002
She is a fabulous First Lady. I was a lucky man when she said, yes, I agree to marry you. I love her dearly, and I'm proud of the job she's doing on behalf of all Americans. Just like I love my brother.
- George W. Bush, Jacksonville, Florida, Sep. 9, 2003
"I'm also not very analytical. You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things." —aboard Air Force One, June 4, 2003
Our country puts $1 billion a year up to help feed the hungry. And we're by far the most generous nation in the world when it comes to that, and I'm proud to report that. This isn't a contest of who's the most generous. I'm just telling you as an aside. We're generous. We shouldn't be bragging about it. But we are. We're very generous.
- George W. Bush, bragging about not bragging, Washington, D.C., July 16, 2003
"But all in all, it's been a fabulous year for Laura and me." —summing up his first year in office, three months after the 9/11 attacks, Washington, D.C., Dec. 20, 2001
"You work three jobs? ... Uniquely American, isn't it? I mean, that is fantastic that you're doing that." -to a divorced mother of three, Omaha, Nebraska, Feb. 4, 2005
I recently met with the finance minister of the Palestinian Authority, was very impressed by his grasp of finances.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 29, 2003
I think war is a dangerous place.
- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 7, 2003
Now, we talked to Joan Hanover. She and her husband, George, were visiting with us. They are near retirement - retiring - in the process of retiring, meaning they're very smart, active, capable people who are retirement age and are retiring.
- George W. Bush, Alexandria, Va., Feb. 12, 2003
It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it.
- George W. Bush
I think anybody who doesn't think I'm smart enough to handle the job is underestimating.
- George W. Bush
The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case.
- George W. Bush
I want to thank my friend, Senator Bill Frist, for joining us today. You're doing a heck of a job. You cut your teeth here, right? That's where you started practicing? That's good. He married a Texas girl, I want you to know. Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me.
- George W. Bush, Nashville, Tenn., May 27, 2004
The Pope, made to sit through a Bush speech. 3) Kim Il-sung
Recently I visited the official website of DPR Korea to get a little bit of an idea of just how much this guy is revered over there. The forums were, unsurprisingly, severely moderated and censored. The moderators accepted only certain types of questions, you know, the ones that do not question the authority of their 'Great Leader' in any shape or form. In fact I highly doubt whether the questions were actually posed by visitors to that website.
Q: "I'm afraid this could be the silliest question ever in the KFA Forum, but I'm curious about it. I've recently read that NK people can't sit or folding newspapers due to the picture of Dear Leader appearing on the cover, if this is right, what do North Koreans do when they have read the newspapers? How do they get rid of them?"
A: "That is true. Many years ago, they found out that when people folded their Won bills in half to fit into wallets, the picture of Kim-Il Sung got folded. Out of respect, they moved the picture to the side so when the bill got folded, the picture remained undefaced. I'm not too sure about how newspaper is recycled."
Oh yes, he's quite literally worshiped over there, which is ironic since following a religion is forbidden in that communist country. North Koreans also believe that he's some sort of almighty God who created the world, and hence he has no beginning! The funny thing about this is that his birthday and day of death are considered national holidays. He has turned North Koreans into an insult to the human race.
This is only the tip of the iceberg.
He made the country's army the central pillar of his regime where he exercised absolute power using demagogy as a tool. You'd think being a dictator was bad enough, but to actually make people treat him as though he was a demigod is just mind blowing. During his reign of power, everything was state owned. Say you were riding a (probably state owned) bicycle through the streets of Pyongyang when suddenly a tire bursts. In order to patch it up, you drag the state owned bicycle to a state owned garage, where a guy whose wages are payed by the government fixes the (state owned) bicycle using state owned tools. You then thank the Great Leader by bowing down in front of a picture of him, which isn't difficult since probably every single building in that country has at least one.
During his leadership, North Korea became completely isolated from the rest of the world thanks to his Juche (self-reliant) philosophy, bar a few limited contacts with China. However China too became increasingly distant and when the Soviet Union collapsed, the country was left all alone. Despite the awful economic situation and the horrendous living conditions of the Koreans all the while when this man was living a life of luxury, the Korean media continued to lionize him. He died after a sudden heart attack in 1994 and his funeral was attended by thousands who were seen weeping dramatically. The video can be seen here.
It was said that as he grew older, some sort of a growth developed on the back of his neck. To prevent this from being seen, North Korean photographers took photos of him from a certain angle, but this became rather difficult after a while when the growth became the size of a baseball!
Oh yeah, did I mention that he's also the country's Eternal President?
2) Kim Jong-il
A classic case of Like Father, Like son. He didn't become President of DPR Korea since his father is the "Eternal President", remember? Instead, he was appointed as the Chairman of the National Defense Commission, which, incidentally was announced as the highest post of the state. Since he's not the president he's not required to hold elections and to no one's surprise, hasn't done so.
Okay, I visited the official DPRK website again and found another interesting question posed by a visitor.
Q: "In America I can sit on Bush's picture and expel gas. Is the Dear Leader equal to Kings?"
A: "The Great Leader is indeed higher than Kings. While Kings are only concerned about the aristocratic circle, Kim Jong-Il is the father and nexus of the full society.
What makes him more great is that although having such power and trust from the people, never shows his opulence and is a very humble person in every aspect of his life."
His leadership is almost a carbon copy to that of his fathers'. He commands absolute obedience, and failure to do so is in his opinion, a sign of disloyalty. Those disloyal to him or his army (now the world's 5th largest) are sent to concentration camps where God knows what horrors lie in store for them. He's known as The Dear Leader, and his birthday is a national holiday.
In addition to his cruel leadership, he's also recognised as a playboy. His extravagant lifestyle, which includes filthy amounts of money spent on purchasing luxury cars, a wine cellar in one of his numerous homes and collecting movies. He's an avid film fan and reportedly owns over 20,000 video tapes, so it was only expected that he wanted to develop a North Korean film industry. His solution? Kidnapping a South Korean film director and his actress wife. Unique, to say the least. He's also a womanizer and had relationships with numerous women. I'm guessing the line, "My father is the Eternal President" turned out to be pretty useful. Like his father, he too has a fear of flying. During one of his trips to Russia via train, he reportedly had live lobsters airlifted to him everyday, which he ate using silver chopsticks. In his autobiography, he claims that he has a genius IQ and that he has written 6 operas and designed at least one structure. Most accuse him of insanity.
During the latter part of this year, there were rumours that he had suffered a stroke and possibly died. The North Korean government and media (almost the same thing really; the media is totally controlled by the government) kept mysteriously quite on this issue and were finally forced to admit that he had suffered a "minor" stroke. To prove that he's in top physical condition now, their Central News Agency published photos of him to the world, though the authenticity of these have been questioned by anyone with an above average IQ. There have been rumours that he suffered a second stroke last month. I think it will be more appropriate if he could just get out and show himself!
He's also 5'2" and wears 4 inch platform shoes to disguise his shortness. I should do that too!
1) Saparmurat Niyazov
I'm not sure if I could fit all his eccentricities into this post, but when 99.9% of a country's population vote in favour of the incumbent President to extend his presidiency, and when the parliament declares him President for Life, you'll probably be able smell trouble from the other end of the globe. That was exactly what happened at Turkmenistan, a country which gained independence after the fall of the Soviet Union.
Turkmenistan is not exactly the most well-known country. That is because like the two Korean leaders mentioned above, this man decided to isolate his country from the rest of the world and develop a personality cult. Although we may have to invent a new word as a substitute for 'personality cult'. That's because this guy was incredibly egocentric. And stupid.
He declared himself as Turkmenbashi, meaning "Father of all Turkmen". Amongst the bizarre things he's done, it includes banning beards, forcing his countrymen to have only one pet at the most so that "herds may be avoided", renaming the month April to "Gurbansoltan Eje" in honour of his dead mother, and renaming other months, years and days of the week after his family members and famous Turkmeni personalities. Oh and he renamed the year 2002 after himself, Turkmenbashi.
Teacher writes the date, 24th of Wednesday, Turkmenbashi
He also assigned the second Sunday of August as a national holiday, calling it Melon Day in honour of the melon. Why can't we have a Rihaakuru Day?
He squandered millions of dollars on building a zoo and a ski resort in the middle of the desert, too. Who cares if the civilians are starving, eh?
The Neutrality Arch, atop the monument is a gold-plated statue of Niyazov which rotates 360 degrees every 24 hours so as to always face the sun. - Wikipedia
During his time, the economy of Turkmenistan crippled and plunged to a somewhat perilous state. But he didn't mind! There're portraits and gold plated statues of him all throughout the country staring down upon the hungry civilians. When he tinted his grey hair black, teams were rushed to retouch official portraits and statues accordingly. He also opened a Ministry of Fairness, whatever that meant.
Turkmenistan has the fifth-largest natural gas reserves, and as long as Niyazov continued to pump gas into Europe, he would've been seen as a jolly old bear with some hilarious eccentricities. And that was how things were, though there was a much darker side. There were no such things as press freedom, only 0.7% of the population used the internet since he'd ordered to shut down all internet cafe's. He ordered all doctors to take oath to him and dismissed 15,000 health workers, replacing them with military conscripts who'd been ordered to use his medical textbooks. He likes to think he's a good physician despite having no training and next to no knowledge on this subject.
His weirdness was confirmed (as though we don't need any more convincing) when he published a book, the Ruhnama. If you were to believe him, this is THE ultimate book. It contains absolutely everything, from spiritual and moral guidance, his autobiography (of course), and some history lessons with highly disputed facts. Not only was it made compulsory for every Turkmen to read and learn from it, but it was also integrated into the nation's education curriculum. You've to learn it in order to pass driving exams too! Niyazov also attempted to keep copies of it in the churches and mosques. Obviously the imams weren't too happy with keeping a book written by a senile dictator alongside the Qur'an and they let their feelings known. Turkmenbashi's solution was to bulldoze a few mosques.
This is a monument to the Ruhnama, probably the first ever monument of a book. It's situated in the capital Ashgabad, and at 8:00 pm every evening, it opens and plays recorded passages from the book accompanied by video. You're not allowed to critisize this in any shape or form if you don't want to be subjected to torture and imprisonment. Most importantly, according to Niyazov, reading this book thrice will guarantee you a ticket to heaven! Fantastic, eh?
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Being titchy
I've always been a few inches shorter than the average Maldivian height. Ask anyone who knows me to describe me and they'll always start with, "Well, he's short and...". This never bothered me nearly as much as it bothers my mom. It's understandable though, since all mothers like their sons to be big, broad-shouldered and to generally have an imposing physique. I don't have any of those characteristics, so I've been dragged into a few sticky situations, been the subject of several in-class jokes (which are mostly good-natured, by the way) and even got away with a few things that only short people could. See, it's not all bad! Oh, and the rumour is true. An elevator full of people does smell differently to a midget..
I've been small right from the start. Ever since my premature birth (I saw a photo of myself back then; I looked like Yoda from Star Wars, minus the long years of course), to being called "Kuda Imma" at preschool, and being forced to stand at the front of the class line almost every year during my primary school days. My physique started to show its advantages and drawbacks when I began grade 6.
During grade 6, the school management decided to select (or rather, force) students to join the school Cadet. Grade 6 was the most senior year back then, so naturally we were the ones who had to suffer through seemingly endless meetings where they tried to convince us that Cadet was actually very beneficial and joining it would clearly open the doors for a bright future for all of us. Few bought this. In fact, only around 40 students willingly joined. Imagine that! If Kalaafaanu School held a procession with only 40, we would've become a laughing stock. So naturally, the management decided to take the matter into their own hands. I remember one day after another such meeting, we were all made to stand in the school compound and they scrutinized us individually while carrying a list of all the names of the sixth graders. When they stopped by me, they took one look at me, shook their heads vigorously while looking almost disgusted and didn't even bother to check my name.
"You're so lucky!" My best friend hissed into my ear. Oh yes, I felt like the luckiest person on Earth.
My joy, however, was short-lived.
A few weeks later, my English teacher summoned me to his desk.
"You're supposed to come here at 3:45 in the afternoon", he said.
"A club meeting?" I asked excitedly. English club meetings were always entertaining. He neither confirmed nor denied it, but pretended to be busy rummaging through a file.
So I went at the required time and entered the school, only to find myself in the midst of 4th and 5th graders. Due to the lack of Cadets, the school management had made the 4th and 5th graders sit through the sort of meetings I had to suffer. It didn't take a lot of persuasion to convince them the whole "Cadet is beneficial to your future" thing. Still, I just couldn't believe it! I had been blackmailed!
The worst part of the whole experience was that I was made to march and yell those stupid, "Yes Sir!" and "Affirmative Sir!" stuff with a group of 4th graders, whom I'm pretty sure didn't even know the meaning of "affirmative". They were about the same height as me, and had attended many meetings prior to that afternoon, hence they were more experienced and unlike me, they actually knew how to follow the commands. Hence I couldn't keep in tune with the marching and disrupted the flow of the march and got heckled by them. Got heckled by a bunch of 4th graders! I had to use all my willpower in trying to keep my lips pursed to prevent myself from saying something scathing in return. At the end of the day, my back felt so rigid that I couldn't even bend it sufficiently to tie my shoelaces! This really wasn't what I had in mind when I went to school that day. That was the last time I went to a Cadet "meeting."
The next year, which was of course my last at Kalaafaanu, an inter-class football tournament was held. During one practice session, a 4th grade class approached us and requested a match. Apparently "playing with bigger people will make them better." So we agreed, and absolutely thrashed them, both scoreline and confidence-wise. Any chance of me feeling sympathetic towards them was cut short by the fact that I fell victim to their heckling again! I mean, you would expect 4th graders to be able to recognise their own classmates. They just assumed that I was one of them, and I took great pleasure in watching them get all riled up every time I stole the ball from one of their players or made a pass to one of my classmates, or generally whenever I did anything good for my team.
Perhaps the most bizarre incident took place the same year. It was during one school assembly when they were selecting the school Prefects. I was lucky enough to be selected and was walking along to stand in line to take my oath when I was interrogated by two teachers.
"Do you want any help in pinning it?" They asked, indicating the Prefect's badge in my hand. I was momentarily shocked. Here were two teachers who taught grades 3 and 4 respectively, asking me if I was capable of doing something that their students were more than capable of doing. What annoyed me most was the tone they used. You must've heard people using a peculiar tone while communicating with cute infants. That tone.
"No!" I replied, pinning the badge to my shirt. Not very Prefect-like, I know.
My physique, or rather the lack of it, rather worried my badminton coach. I was part of the Youth Development Program and was progressing nicely through the ranks until I went to grade 8. I started to struggle a bit, probably because I was going through a growth spurt (if you could call that a "growth" spurt) . My coach confided his feelings about my physique and told me that I was disadvantaged. He made me work through tough physical routines created by himself in order to make me look "more like a man." It worked for a while, until an unfortunate illness prevented me from engaging in any vigorous physical activities for two whole months. During that time, I was also settling to life at Dharumavantha School. As you can imagine, it was pretty tough for someone of my height. Heightism and gang culture has always been strife over there, and I was the epitome of a perfect bully magnet. I can imagine how I would've been in a bully's point of view. Short, frail and wearing glasses. Perfect.
During the first month, it was a common experience for me to get surrounded during the interval period by tall, gorilla-ish guys with ravenous appetites all demanding a piece of my hotdog. I was lucky enough to witness a friend of mine suffer through a similar experience during the first week. He yelled, "NUDHEYNAN!" and got punched on the face. Poor fellow. But this particular incident made me realize that in order to be a bully, you're required to have sub-human intelligence. I mean, these guys are like programmed robots; they understand only a few expressions and know when you're being hostile. So I used a very different tactic; I bore them out of their minds.
"You know what? I actually spent 2 Rufiyaa on this and want to enjoy this on my own. If I am to share this amongst all of you then all the money would be wasted. Plus, how am I supposed to share this little thing amongst all of you? I mean-"
"-yeah just eat the bloody thing!" Walks away.
They stopped begging for food after a couple of weeks.
After I was officially accepted into CHSE, we were made to attend several orientation programs. During one such session, some blokes from the Maldivian National Defense Force came to brainwash, oh sorry, enlighten us about the work they do over there. The guy who was speaking made it sound like heaven of course, but then he said something that really rattled some of us.
"Anyone can join. Boys need to be at least 5"5' in height and girls at least 5"3'."
I couldn't believe it! This was blatant heightism! But then I thought, why am I even listening?
Things got a little more entertaining during the Q&A session when a girl stood up to the MNDF officer. Only a few years ago this would've guaranteed her 6 months time in prison. She demanded to know why we had to be of a certain height to join this so-called elite job. My heroine!
I've been small right from the start. Ever since my premature birth (I saw a photo of myself back then; I looked like Yoda from Star Wars, minus the long years of course), to being called "Kuda Imma" at preschool, and being forced to stand at the front of the class line almost every year during my primary school days. My physique started to show its advantages and drawbacks when I began grade 6.
During grade 6, the school management decided to select (or rather, force) students to join the school Cadet. Grade 6 was the most senior year back then, so naturally we were the ones who had to suffer through seemingly endless meetings where they tried to convince us that Cadet was actually very beneficial and joining it would clearly open the doors for a bright future for all of us. Few bought this. In fact, only around 40 students willingly joined. Imagine that! If Kalaafaanu School held a procession with only 40, we would've become a laughing stock. So naturally, the management decided to take the matter into their own hands. I remember one day after another such meeting, we were all made to stand in the school compound and they scrutinized us individually while carrying a list of all the names of the sixth graders. When they stopped by me, they took one look at me, shook their heads vigorously while looking almost disgusted and didn't even bother to check my name.
"You're so lucky!" My best friend hissed into my ear. Oh yes, I felt like the luckiest person on Earth.
My joy, however, was short-lived.
A few weeks later, my English teacher summoned me to his desk.
"You're supposed to come here at 3:45 in the afternoon", he said.
"A club meeting?" I asked excitedly. English club meetings were always entertaining. He neither confirmed nor denied it, but pretended to be busy rummaging through a file.
So I went at the required time and entered the school, only to find myself in the midst of 4th and 5th graders. Due to the lack of Cadets, the school management had made the 4th and 5th graders sit through the sort of meetings I had to suffer. It didn't take a lot of persuasion to convince them the whole "Cadet is beneficial to your future" thing. Still, I just couldn't believe it! I had been blackmailed!
The worst part of the whole experience was that I was made to march and yell those stupid, "Yes Sir!" and "Affirmative Sir!" stuff with a group of 4th graders, whom I'm pretty sure didn't even know the meaning of "affirmative". They were about the same height as me, and had attended many meetings prior to that afternoon, hence they were more experienced and unlike me, they actually knew how to follow the commands. Hence I couldn't keep in tune with the marching and disrupted the flow of the march and got heckled by them. Got heckled by a bunch of 4th graders! I had to use all my willpower in trying to keep my lips pursed to prevent myself from saying something scathing in return. At the end of the day, my back felt so rigid that I couldn't even bend it sufficiently to tie my shoelaces! This really wasn't what I had in mind when I went to school that day. That was the last time I went to a Cadet "meeting."
The next year, which was of course my last at Kalaafaanu, an inter-class football tournament was held. During one practice session, a 4th grade class approached us and requested a match. Apparently "playing with bigger people will make them better." So we agreed, and absolutely thrashed them, both scoreline and confidence-wise. Any chance of me feeling sympathetic towards them was cut short by the fact that I fell victim to their heckling again! I mean, you would expect 4th graders to be able to recognise their own classmates. They just assumed that I was one of them, and I took great pleasure in watching them get all riled up every time I stole the ball from one of their players or made a pass to one of my classmates, or generally whenever I did anything good for my team.
Perhaps the most bizarre incident took place the same year. It was during one school assembly when they were selecting the school Prefects. I was lucky enough to be selected and was walking along to stand in line to take my oath when I was interrogated by two teachers.
"Do you want any help in pinning it?" They asked, indicating the Prefect's badge in my hand. I was momentarily shocked. Here were two teachers who taught grades 3 and 4 respectively, asking me if I was capable of doing something that their students were more than capable of doing. What annoyed me most was the tone they used. You must've heard people using a peculiar tone while communicating with cute infants. That tone.
"No!" I replied, pinning the badge to my shirt. Not very Prefect-like, I know.
My physique, or rather the lack of it, rather worried my badminton coach. I was part of the Youth Development Program and was progressing nicely through the ranks until I went to grade 8. I started to struggle a bit, probably because I was going through a growth spurt (if you could call that a "growth" spurt) . My coach confided his feelings about my physique and told me that I was disadvantaged. He made me work through tough physical routines created by himself in order to make me look "more like a man." It worked for a while, until an unfortunate illness prevented me from engaging in any vigorous physical activities for two whole months. During that time, I was also settling to life at Dharumavantha School. As you can imagine, it was pretty tough for someone of my height. Heightism and gang culture has always been strife over there, and I was the epitome of a perfect bully magnet. I can imagine how I would've been in a bully's point of view. Short, frail and wearing glasses. Perfect.
During the first month, it was a common experience for me to get surrounded during the interval period by tall, gorilla-ish guys with ravenous appetites all demanding a piece of my hotdog. I was lucky enough to witness a friend of mine suffer through a similar experience during the first week. He yelled, "NUDHEYNAN!" and got punched on the face. Poor fellow. But this particular incident made me realize that in order to be a bully, you're required to have sub-human intelligence. I mean, these guys are like programmed robots; they understand only a few expressions and know when you're being hostile. So I used a very different tactic; I bore them out of their minds.
"You know what? I actually spent 2 Rufiyaa on this and want to enjoy this on my own. If I am to share this amongst all of you then all the money would be wasted. Plus, how am I supposed to share this little thing amongst all of you? I mean-"
"-yeah just eat the bloody thing!" Walks away.
They stopped begging for food after a couple of weeks.
After I was officially accepted into CHSE, we were made to attend several orientation programs. During one such session, some blokes from the Maldivian National Defense Force came to brainwash, oh sorry, enlighten us about the work they do over there. The guy who was speaking made it sound like heaven of course, but then he said something that really rattled some of us.
"Anyone can join. Boys need to be at least 5"5' in height and girls at least 5"3'."
I couldn't believe it! This was blatant heightism! But then I thought, why am I even listening?
Things got a little more entertaining during the Q&A session when a girl stood up to the MNDF officer. Only a few years ago this would've guaranteed her 6 months time in prison. She demanded to know why we had to be of a certain height to join this so-called elite job. My heroine!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
The highs and a pesky low
Today, people flocked over to the east end of Male' to witness the first ever sunrise at Aneh Dhivehiraajje. No, I'm not going to get all emotional and type something full of poetry "straight from the heart". That's mainly because I'm not a very poetic sort of person and my attempts to write poetry often include trying to find words that rhyme and ending up with something that doesn't make any sense. Like this verse of a poem I wrote when I was around nine:
Enough blabbering. I didn't go to witness the sun rise because I've seen it a million times before and it always looked the same. Also, I had collapsed onto bed out of sheer exhaustion and, according to my friend who phoned me at that time, I spoke absolute nonsense and he came up with the conclusion that I wasn't in the right mental state to do anything due to severe sleep deprivation. Which is a shame as he's one of those who have their heads stuck up Maumoon's behind and was expecting a victory speech from me.
Anyway, I was walking along a very pro-Maumoon neighbourhood today and witnessed two people trying to vigorously remove posters of him from their walls. They caught me staring and gave me the 'what are you looking at?' look. I pretended to scratch the tip of my nose in an attempt to conceal a smirk and walked on, keeping my head bowed until I'd got myself out of that area. It was unusually quite during the late morning wasn't it? Probably because most people were in bed having stayed up all night, or that the whole thing hasn't quite sunk in yet.
The purpose of this post is not about basking in the glory of a sweet victory or gloating over it. In fact, it doesn't have any clear-cut purpose, so I would like to advise all of you, whether you voted for Maumoon or Anni or for the third candidate who never campaigned, i.e Mr Baathil Vote, to act like adults. People like me who voted for a change should stop rubbing it in the faces of the Maumoon supporters, whom by the way, should quit throwing tantrums. I mean, 30 years! For how long could you possibly stand him? Whoops, there I go again!
I hate Anni! I hate him! I don't wanna stay here anymore!!
See, this is the reason why you've to be at least 18 in order to be eligible for voting.
There's something else I'd like to mention; the darn mark. I predicted in my previous post that the new method wouldn't be one which we would enjoy and I turned out be be right, didn't I? Here, have a look:
My index finger looks dead! It reminds me of the irreversible injury Dumbledore sustained on his hand when he tried to put on a cursed ring. All thanks to our whiny journalists who're so incompetent that they couldn't come up with better topics than the issue of a mark. Yesterday my cousins were making a little too much noise, so I raised the finger to my lips to say, "Shh" and the smallest one freaked out. According to her, I shouldn't have voted in black. She thinks voting means applying colours on our fingers, bless her. In my defense, it turned black because of unavoidable contact with water and sunlight.
I've also heard of the incredible lengths people have gone to in order to remove this. Like using lemons, as cologne proved to be unhelpful this time round, or even strong hazardous solvents! My suggestion is concentrated sulphuric acid. It'll definitely remove the mark, although side effects include your skin melting to the bone and the acid entering your bloodstream causing damage to the optic nerves.
Grandmother Willow,
She loves to hug the pillow,
and she looked down below
She loves to hug the pillow,
and she looked down below
Enough blabbering. I didn't go to witness the sun rise because I've seen it a million times before and it always looked the same. Also, I had collapsed onto bed out of sheer exhaustion and, according to my friend who phoned me at that time, I spoke absolute nonsense and he came up with the conclusion that I wasn't in the right mental state to do anything due to severe sleep deprivation. Which is a shame as he's one of those who have their heads stuck up Maumoon's behind and was expecting a victory speech from me.
Anyway, I was walking along a very pro-Maumoon neighbourhood today and witnessed two people trying to vigorously remove posters of him from their walls. They caught me staring and gave me the 'what are you looking at?' look. I pretended to scratch the tip of my nose in an attempt to conceal a smirk and walked on, keeping my head bowed until I'd got myself out of that area. It was unusually quite during the late morning wasn't it? Probably because most people were in bed having stayed up all night, or that the whole thing hasn't quite sunk in yet.
The purpose of this post is not about basking in the glory of a sweet victory or gloating over it. In fact, it doesn't have any clear-cut purpose, so I would like to advise all of you, whether you voted for Maumoon or Anni or for the third candidate who never campaigned, i.e Mr Baathil Vote, to act like adults. People like me who voted for a change should stop rubbing it in the faces of the Maumoon supporters, whom by the way, should quit throwing tantrums. I mean, 30 years! For how long could you possibly stand him? Whoops, there I go again!
I hate Anni! I hate him! I don't wanna stay here anymore!!See, this is the reason why you've to be at least 18 in order to be eligible for voting.
There's something else I'd like to mention; the darn mark. I predicted in my previous post that the new method wouldn't be one which we would enjoy and I turned out be be right, didn't I? Here, have a look:
My index finger looks dead! It reminds me of the irreversible injury Dumbledore sustained on his hand when he tried to put on a cursed ring. All thanks to our whiny journalists who're so incompetent that they couldn't come up with better topics than the issue of a mark. Yesterday my cousins were making a little too much noise, so I raised the finger to my lips to say, "Shh" and the smallest one freaked out. According to her, I shouldn't have voted in black. She thinks voting means applying colours on our fingers, bless her. In my defense, it turned black because of unavoidable contact with water and sunlight.I've also heard of the incredible lengths people have gone to in order to remove this. Like using lemons, as cologne proved to be unhelpful this time round, or even strong hazardous solvents! My suggestion is concentrated sulphuric acid. It'll definitely remove the mark, although side effects include your skin melting to the bone and the acid entering your bloodstream causing damage to the optic nerves.
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