Saturday, 31 October 2009

Quiz: Are you Maumoon Abdul Qayyoom?

1) It has been discovered that there are a group of religious transgressors reigning havoc in one of the islands. You:

A - Send a team of people to investigate the issue, and ask them to confront any troublemakers and take necessary action against them.

B - Invite the ringleaders of the group to have a face-to-face chat with you and inquire about their problems. Do everything to help them and turn them to the right path.

C - Attack! Send the MNDF blokes with their heavy batons to "speak" with these people. Also, make sure you round up anyone in Male' with long beards and black hijabis and remove those offensive items off them! Convince the public that these people are somehow, mysteriously, contracted to Mullah Umar and they want to shred you to pieces! Remind everyone that you acquired your infinite wisdom from al-Azhar and that you're also an expert in astronomy.

2) There have been nasty rumours of your son going wild over at the UK. Apparently he was involved in a drink driving accident.

A - Your son is innocent as a person possibly can be! You categorically deny the rumours and politely ask the public to find proof before spreading such gossip.

B - It is well known that your son has a tinge of wildness about him. Make your son explain himself to the public.

C - "How dare they tarnish my rep- I mean my son's reputation!" This can seriously hamper your chances of extending your Presidency to 35 years! Threaten to take legal action against anyone who spread such vile truths.

3) You've just ruled the country for 30 years, and got beaten in the latest elections. What do you plan on doing now?

A - Retire from politics altogether. After all, you've had a long career and now is probably the time to rest your remaining limbs.

B - You just cannot step away from politics altogether after all this time with all the experience you have. You plan to be an outside observer, and of course you can always offer a few tips of advice to your successor.

C - Make sure you harass, badger, hassle and heckle your successor to the best of your ability with the help of your minions. Remind them that you're infallible.

4) You've been asked to be present to face alleged corruption charges. What do you do?

A - You never did anything wrong, so you go there, prove it to them and leave them with egg on their faces!

B - You did a few things you regret during your long tenure as the President. Admit to your mistakes, because that's what the strongest amongst men do, aren't they?

C - Throw a tantrum about how the Riyaasee Commission does not have the right to "enter homes and arrest whomever they want", and of how you almost choked to death after falling victim to tear gas. Be careful not to mention anything about search warrants which enable the police to search homes.

5) Your successor's methods of enlightening the public about the plight of global warming and other environmental catastrophes appear to be much more successful than the ones you applied.

A - Bravo, good on him! Applaud his works and offer your support.

B - Ask your supporters to do everything possible to protect this country from possible environmental catastrophes.

C - Wait a minute! You are the Godfather of the Environment. You are the one who deserves all the medals! And what on earth is he doing underwater? Wasting time, damn it!

So there you go! If your answers are all C's, you got 5/5! Congratulations, Maumoon Abdul Qayyoom! Now I suggest you get away from our faces.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.