Thursday, 21 February 2008

Mr Most Narcissistic Muscleman

One extremely weird week has just past us. A week where my class officially topped the Most Irregular Attendances During Chemistry Lessions league (our class teacher's now completely pissed off), ants attacked me during the middle of the night, and there was also the Barnsley Incident *coughs* one's allowed to mention that on my blog by the way, as I've been subjected to that particular taunt all week & if you have a heart, you'll understand that I've suffered enough.

If you're wondering, the topic of this post has nothing to do with me. No, I'm dedicating this post to all the participants of the Mr Maldives contest who spent excessive amounts of time in gyms all throughout Male' pumping iron for several months.

As I like to do so often, I'll tell you all a little story. This happened last December, which was of course during the holidays after the third semister. During one of those days, my mom suggested that I should sign up at Male' Fitness Club as she thought having a professional instructor beside me would do me good instead of me going off to jog on my own every morning (she probably thinks I run around like a headless chicken). So I agreed, I mean surely it wouldn't do me any harm, could it? So I signed up for a monthly membership and I was raring to go!

So at 7.00 in the morning I trudged to the gym and strode in as though I owned the place, you know, it was important to look confident. I entered and received the shock of my life. The place was stenched with the rather unpleasant smell of male sweat, something which I'd got used to during my 3 years spent at Dharumavantha School. The source of my shock were the men who were scattered around the room pumping iron. They all had the same expression on their faces, as though they were trying hard to get something out of their bottoms. The bared teeth, veins bulging up their necks, and biceps the size of large coconuts were a bit unnerving at first sight, and it is a look I hereby name The Bodybuilder's Pain in the Arse (BPA).

Anyway, I went their 4 times a week to get fit (obviously) and I couldn't help but observe the musclemen. I noticed that they applied the BPA even while lifting only 3kg. I was able to lift 3kg without even changing my complexion (I'm the sort of person who turns red very easily). What I noticed most about these big dudes was the way they spent disturbing amounts of time checking themselves out infront of the mirrors. They just looked so happy, flexing their muscles & smiling to themselves.

During my last weights session, yes I did weights too as according to my instructor, I was completely empty, I was asked to use 5kg on each hand. That was a total of 10kg, and I doubt I'd ever carried anything that heavy all my life. So i obeyed him & started three sets of 15 on my biceps (if you could call them biceps). On the 12th count of my third set, my arms refused to move. I pulled the weights harder, and they didn't budge even a centimetre. Thus, having run out of choices, I opted for the BPA; I bared my teeth, veins bulged out on my neck and my complexion turned beetroot. It didn't work. Luckily, my instructor turned around at that precise moment to speak to someone, and when he turned back, I gasped, "Fifteen!" and put the weights down. He was impressed.

I think I'll stick with my routine early morning jogs.


shweeeeet! said...

poor you :P
adhi rangalhu vaane
hih varu kurey.. :P

bulhaa said...

hehehe. this post had me with a smile from start to finish!
hey, do you think in the midst of PBA them muscly men would fart??? O.o


Hi ...

great post ... after reading your post it made me laugh !!! PBA sounds cool hehehe ...

I am a steakholder of the company you mentioned and i do operate the club ...

You have been in the club when the bodybuilder were in final stages of prepration for Mr. Maldives ... I can imagine what you are saying ... and yeah they do pause infront of the mirrors ... it's kind of psycological training as the trainers make them do that to gain confidence on stage hehehe hehehe

By the way early morning jog are the best thing you could do for a healthy lifestyle ... you have chosen the best ...


Control Freak said...

shweet - hihvaru kureveyneeves vaki varakah dho?

bulhaa - early in the mornin when theres nothin much inside their tummies? yep but tats an awful thought

oh yea mr personal trainer i honestly did enjoy my time over there..even if i didnt mention tat in the post :)

Anonymous said...

wow.. what kind of steak do u hold personal trainer? rare or well done?

.mini said...

i love this post! although i have to mention something which is kinda, disturbing
your blog is black and the font is white and i was staring at the screen to read it and now when im commenting on this white screen my eyes are a lil.. i cant actually see properly
so, if you could change that a lil bit, it would be great
and, as ive said before
i really LOVE!!! this post :D