"When I get married, I won't be bothering with any of this nonsense. You can all wear what you like, and I'll put a full Body-Bind Curse on Mum until it's all over" - Fred Weasley
Do wedding ceremonies these days make you go, "Oh, what the hell??!" If not then you'll probably not understand the rest of this post. So read at your own risk.
Personally, I love weddings. The food is usually great and....yeah that's it. I've been unable to find any other good reasons to attend them. I know that many are going to say, "But don't you even feel happy for the newly wed couple? Don't you share their happiness, you selfish brat?" Of course I do, but let's stick to the topic of wedding parties, shall we? Once I watched a report on BBC about the lavish wedding ceremonies held in India, and how many families go bankrupt over them. Even we're heading in that direction I suppose, especially these days when people are so obsessed with taking loans.
Let's start off with invitation cards. Basically, they let the invitees know about the date, time and venue of the ceremony. Simple right? Well, apparently not. The cards should be unique, that is to say, totally different from those made for other weddings. These invitations are usually made by an expert on designing stuff (who wouldn't care less if the whole ordeal is ridiculous or not: they make money by doing this, see). I think there's a high probability that invitation cards alone cost more than weddings used to 20 years back.
The couple are next. The bride will usually be caked under layers of makeup and sporting a cross between I'm so pretty! and I can't believe this is happening! looks. She will never laugh, but have a permanent-looking smile plastered to her face. If a situation where she just has to laugh arises, she'll just gasp extremely softly. Most people aren't able to hear this. The guy, well they say men are easier to read. He'll just have the simple When will this darn thing end so we can go and... look. The couple won't even realize you're right there in front of them, shaking their own hands until they run through the photos several days later.
What about the excessive unnecessary stuff? My best friend rang me up last year while he was at one such party and told me about a chocolate fountain. I thought he was talking about a new type of dessert, but it just happened to be that...a chocolate fountain. Not for edible purposes. A wedding I attended had fruits carved out in fancy ways as decoration. Fruits, for heavens sake! Totally fail-safe methods of throwing money out of the window!
Lastly, the giveaways. These are usually stuff that have no use whatsoever, and I just can't wrap my head around the idea! Sometimes this makes me wonder whether people are just looking for more ways to inspire from riches-to-rags stories. If I live long enough to get married and someone asks me for a giveaway, I'd probably say, "You've just stuffed yourself with food I gave away. What more do you want?" I've received all sorts of ridiculous stuff from weddings (or rather, had them stuffed in my hands) and they always go where they belong; into the dustbin.
People forget the real reason of celebrating weddings these days, don't they? The process where two people are tying the knot is paled into insignificance, but what comes after are deemed to be of utmost importance.
And two months later, the couple get divorced. The typical Maldivian wedding..