Election fun

I received rather unusual text messages last Wednesday. They were all along the line, "How did the voting go?" Like me, most of my friends voted for the first time ever, so I suppose their somewhat irrational excitement is understandable.

I would describe the event as enlightening, but not enjoyable. It's hard to enjoy yourself when you've to stand in queue on a rainy day for over an hour amidst hordes of strangers. They were supposed to be people I was familiar with of course, but I managed to locate only 3 or 4 familiar faces.
Oh, and while I was walking home after submitting my vote, I saw a most peculiar site; a house was covered from top to bottom with posters of Maumoon, while the house next door had a similar look with the slight difference that they went for posters of Anni. I can imagine the neighbourhood arguments.



Anyway, I was amongst the many Maldivians who observed the post-election events with interest. Naturally, now that each one of the candidates have campaigned and tried their best to convince the population that they're the more suitable one amongst the two who made it to the next round to be president of this country, its blame game time! Most of the accusations they make about each other are supposedly valid, although sometimes they can go a little over the top and a teeny weeny bit paranoid. Best not talk about them. They make me wonder whether we're all actually part of a comedy sitcom. Come to think of it! The show will be probably called Maldives, and the studio audience: rest of the world. In fact, they'll be laughing now as Abdullah Kamaaludheen, who's portrayed as a Ninja (and incidentally has unusually bad physique for a Ninja), jumps over the wall fenced around his home and enters the ID card section in the middle of the night by breaking various powerful security features and locks. I'm guessing that the "powerful security features" was in the shape of an elderly security guard who may or may not have been awake while the crime was being committed.



Speaking of paranoia, I think mentioning the bunch who over-analyze everything is worthwhile. Those of you who claimed that the purple mark applied on your finger faded by rain, give me a break! I had a good laugh when a journalist complained about this during one press conference that was aired on TV. I abluted four times that day alone after submitting my vote, washed my hands with soap before and after meals and the thing was still intact when I went to bed that night! Because of these moaners new methods are being investigated and considered and whenever I wonder what the next one may be, I come up with disturbing scenarios. For an example, what if the elections commission decide to print a waterproof dot on our foreheads?



This may give rise to rather awkward situations:
Hindhu: Sees a Maldivian walking along the street. What's that on his forehead? Could that be..? Yes it is! I can't believe it! A Maldivian Hindhu!
(Runs over to the Maldivian guy and prostates at his feet). "Namasthey."
Maldivian guy: (Surprised) What are you doing? Wha-?(Points towards forehead) "Oh this? No, this isn't for religious purposes. And it's not made of cow dung, unlike yours. No, this is waterproof, and evidence that I voted during the second round of our presidential elections. This actually won't wear off until the next round of elections five years later! Remarkable eh?"

They may even come up with a more painful method. Ever heard of cows having their ears tagged at farms?

I voted. Have you?

I've also wondered where this 'Aneh Dhivehiraajje' is. I mean, I would like to know the location of our new country before I vote. I'd prefer somewhere warm and I'm sure most Maldivians would share this opinion. Imagine if we ended up in the Arctic Circle! Then voting for Anni would be utterly pointless.

"Welcome to Maldives."

Now that would really suck!

Edit: It has been confirmed that we'll have to stick our thumb in some sort of water-resistant ink. That'll make it look as though we're all suffering from a bad case of frostbite.
Oh, and apparently we don't have to move anywhere else to reach Aneh Dhivehiraajje. Best vote for a change then.